I’m steadily becoming more and more frustrated and irrational! In fact, I do this often: I sit at my computer (which seems to have a never-ending need to scan, update or download) just when I want to use it – but because it’s busy – it is also SLOW! I talk to it! I’m not polite!
– I’ve got more important things to do, than sit here waiting for you to ‘do your thing’ – so hurry up!
– For goodness sake – get a move on!
– Pur-leese, come along, I want to get this done!
– Why on earth are you so slow – you’re supposed to be hi-speed!
On and on, I rant – sound familiar? (I do hope not – one irrational person is enough).
Then I receive a devotional from a (writer) friend: I manage (at last) to open it and it immediately gets my attention, because she’s sharing more of the last days of her husband’s life here on earth. He eventually lost all interest in ‘earthly stuff’, including favorite foods, and seemed more and more content to prayerfully spend time with God and her – “What are you doing”, he would say, “Come and sit with me, you can do that stuff later’.
There in that moment I got ‘zapped’ with Godly conviction! Here I was wasting time plus getting agitated (and talking to) a machine – knowing I have other things to do – but yet I continue to expect a mechanical piece of (junk I often call it) technology to perform at the speed I want (demand). It occurs to me that this might very well be a God-moment, and I hear Him saying, “Stop what you’re doing – can you not see you are wasting your time, it does not hear you. Come and sit with me and I will listen to you”.
Zap! I could suddenly see and hear myself, and how ridiculous I become as soon as my computer refuses to do what I want it to do – WHEN I want it to do it. So, I stop behaving like an irrational person and thank God for insight – I stop expecting the impossible from this finite machine, and choose instead to focus on and spend time with my infinite Father in Heaven, whose wisdom far exceeds my own (and how)! Thank you Abba – I think I’m feeling better behaved now!
Note: – on deciding to change my tactics – the computer ‘pops’ a message on the screen telling me that it has been doing a background scan – good thing God scans my thoughts, words and actions each day, and sends me messages on how to focus on important matters rather than on the unimportant: Goodness, I’d be sitting here practically exploding with anger or (and this has come to mind on more than one occasion) – throwing the machine out the window! Of course, that would accomplish absolutely nothing worthwhile – but the thought feels good while it’s there!
Prayer: Abba, thank you for bringing my attention to the fact that I waste so much time and energy, admonishing a machine that is not complying with my demands, when all I have to do is come to you to be refreshed with rationality and become productive and sane. Amen.